Mom is trapped inside her body.
Several weeks ago, my older sister Mona brought mom for chemotherapy. I did not like the idea, but I know my sister wants mom to stay with us for a little bit longer. Some months ago, one of my aunt also passed away due to the cancer. She had a chemotherapy too, and after that there was no return for the deteriorating of her health. My sister was confident that the same thing would not happen for mom. but it happened. I did not blame her, she is doing her best.
I came back from London, and Amsterdam last november, with the wish that I could stay with Mom for some more years to come. She still could walk and talk without any problem that time, but she has been taking a strong anti cancer pill for more than a year now. The side effects of the pill are drying of skin, and losing of appetite, but definitely the pill is doing more than it should be in killing or preventing the cancer cells.
28 Aug, the first time mom is hospitalized since the treatment of her lung cancer two years ago. After that she has more complication in her health condition after taking various medicines, and she starts to have hallucination. Again, I told my sister to stop giving the medicine for the heart pain treatment, but my sister was afraid not to follow the advice from the doctor.
Just barely 3 weeks, mom health has deteriorated significantly, and now she does not even know the way to the toilet which is just beside the master bedroom. Now her mind cannot communicate with her speech,and the thought she wants to express in words. She is losing the sense of direction due to the medication. Sometime she cries, because she has to put so much effort in expressing her thought, and feel helpless because she cannot do many things that she used to do with ease. Luckily, I have two sisters with me to take care of her. We still do not want mom to leave us, and we will help her with all our effort to let her stay with us, and to share her laughter with us.
Mom, please do not be afraid, I am always by your side. Love you always, and get well soon.
//I do not intend to write a touching story here, it is just a record for things that are happening to mom just in case she is entering the last phase of her life. Everyday to me is a blessing, to be able to see mom, and to give my love to her. Thank Heaven for bringing me home, I know now that the Heaven does not want me to feel the regret for my whole life. //