I have spent almost 18 nights with my mom in the hospital before she was transferred to the nursing home. I did not want her to feel lonely at night, so that she knew that we were not giving up on her. She has not woken up yet, and has spent for two weeks now in the nursing home. I go to work at 6:30 am everyday, and leave my work place at around 3 or 4 pm. I would stay with her till 8 pm daily (the time when the nursing home is closed for visiting), to massage her, to talk to her, and to let her listen to the music. It is a very exhausting process, but I do it with joy, for the joy of being able to give my love, and for the joy of being able to help.
My sisters and I would tell my mom, and say, “Hey mom, it’s time to go home!”, or “please don’t sleep for too long, and it is time to wake up!”, or simply give her a kiss, and push our face against her face for her to feel the warm of our heart to wish for her to come back. Everyday, being able to see her still alive, and breathing, is the reason that I shed tears of happiness. I would not have doubt on myself, if I can release her from the misery, and to take all her suffering myself. Well, that is also how rich my mom is, richer than any millionaire in the World, because she has all our attention, and love, and without any doubt, full stop.
That’s my life for now.
21 Oct 2012, Singapore