Completeness

How do I interpret completeness of life? Completeness has a profound meaning in Buddhism. However, I want to see completeness as something simpler, that is to discover our inadequacy in life, and to make improvement to ourselves. Just like when there is light, there is shadow, or the complete cycle of a day that consists of the day time and the night. The completeness of life to me superficially is about to play the roles as children, as brothers and sisters, as parents or as friends as we going through different stages in life. In a more elaborate understanding, and to refer from Lun Yu*, is to have the heart of care and love for any old or young one by taking them as our own elders, or children. Completeness as in the personal entity, is about to break free from our own pride, prejudice, and ignorance. We like things that we deemed beautiful, like a pretty child, or a person who is handsome or beautiful. In completeness sense, the question is how can we assess various characteristics of a person in a just way, and to give these characteristics the credit as much as their appearance. On top of these assessments, ultimately is about our heart being opened to them by considering them as our loved one. Completeness to me is not about being perfect, but being able to see the imperfections in us. We need to embrace imperfections in us, so that we know that we can become a better person in each and everyday. To me, life is an adventure about self discovery. What do you think?

*Lun Yu, please refer to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analects
//This post is related to the post https://riveroftheheartblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/10/life-photo-series-4/

圆满对我来说是什么意思呢?圆满在佛教里意义深远。但对我来说只是简单的指时刻都看到人生和自己的不足,然后改进。圆满有如光与影同时的存在,如白天和黑夜互相的交替而形成的一天。人生过程的圆满,表面上在于经历为人儿女、为人兄弟姐妹、为人父母或为人朋友的不同人生的阶段。更深一层的意义就论语来说,就是我们能不能做到老吾老以及人之老,幼吾幼以及人之幼的时时刻刻保有一种关怀与爱的心态。就个人而言,圆满是自己能否打破迷惘。好比每个人都喜欢美丽的事物,如美丽的孩子或美丽的人。但是我们能不能对一个人的其他的方方面面给予更公正的评价呢? 当然在公正之上,还有对他人有如对自己亲人的理解与关爱。圆满指的不是完美,而是能接受自己的不完美而尽力的在生命的每一天做好自己。人生对我来说犹如踏上发现自己的冒险。你认为是吗?

祈泉书于10月14日2014年,新加坡。

//这贴子是Life Photo Series的延续讨论 https://riveroftheheartblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/10/life-photo-series-4/

23 Responses

  1. 学长:
    1)wow!!!
    2)咱们是同道中人!!!

    • 你指的是白道还是黑道?=).

      • Both =)
        同样有时像天使,有时像恶魔。

  2. Agree to see the imperfections in us in order to be a better person.

  3. And yet to forgive others’ flaws

    • I have in fact written one but not exactly about it (I have to revise it may be one last time), is a follow up of another post that I have posted. Achieving completeness to me is very much related to forgiving others. I think making self improvement does not mean achieving perfectness, but instead to achieving understanding of self, and therefore we love and care about others. Flaws, to me has a deeper sense of meaning in human kind. Lazy is a flaw, poor and unsuccessful is a flaw, low IQ is a flaw, but it is just part of a bigger picture. We need to see the whole thing. Flaw can exist in another way, rich and successful might breed extreme self ego, arrogance etc. Autism child has problem in social communication and might be consider a flaw, but with the understanding of their illness and defect in DNA we understand, and care for them. Here I am not specifically talking about unconditional forgiveness. I am just emphasis on understanding as a part to achieve completeness. Thank you for raising a challenging question, this is what it meant to be a blog :)!

      • You are welcome. Glad to have a good conversation with you.

      • You are always welcome to raise very challenging question and I see this as one way to improve our thinking. A pleasure to have a good conversation with you too!

      • Thank you, Qi Quan. This does help to improve our thinking and a pleasure to have a good conversation with you too.

    • I wish to continue the discussion about the flaw and forgiveness here which is impossible to discuss many things in the article I have written. There are things we cannot control in life but there are things we can control in life. For example being a woman or a man is determined by our DNA, and further there are a lot of complex inter winding human behaviors control by our DNA. It’s very difficult to determine the goods and the flaws, since one flaw might strengthen other goods, or one good might amplify other flaws. Take again Autism as the example, these people are quite common highly focused and developed in either arts or mathematics, this trait also make them somehow detached from communicating with people, or may be because there are afraid of communicating with people, that’s make them highly focused on doing something. However, for them to be developed in either arts or mathematics, probably they need loving parents. So the probability of having very loving parents now is taken into account into what we call fate. The point is, other people’s short comings can be due to a series of unfortunate events in life, and as we achieve more understanding in life, we stand by the unfortunate people’s side to give them the help whenever they need it, and not to despise them. Somehow, this also relates to forgiveness, but due to understanding.

      • Autistic people need loving parents yet know how to strengthen their lackness. Unfortunate events do affect people a lot. Indeed that unfortunate people need help. I can understand that a lot. Most likely, autistic people sometimes don’t know how to find the right words to talk to people. But they can perform well in their works.

      • I have read a few articles about autism in the past, and more importantly I wish to point out not so often some ‘shortcomings’ in ‘normal’ human can be easily traced to having problem with their DNA, even more difficult to understand what kind of childhood they may have gone through. So, it is important to be forgiving, but they are different ways of forgiving, some may lead to good results, some may not.

      • Of course, it isn’t easy to trace problem from DNA.

    • In another situation, if I am a boss and I have the subordinate who has made a series of mistakes. There are multiples way involving forgiveness (not only to o others but also to ourselves). Firstly, if a subordinate made a series of mistakes chances are I am the main problem in the leadership, so I need to analyze the situation carefully and don’t blame the staff. Secondly, I don’t have to fire the staff, but I can appoint another one who can complete the job, may be the one making the mistake was not suitable to handle the job (which is also my leadership problem). Thirdly, don’t fire him. and give him/her a chance, and train the staff until he is really good (unless she/he is willing to give up herself/himself). So the methods above all involve forgiveness in a different way. What do you think?

      • Of course, the above methods involve forgiveness yet compassionate heart. Sometimes, it will help to let the subordinate work in another department or need guidance. Most first time employee need to have someone to guide them. Except if the subordinate doesn’t have the enthusiasm to work.

      • There is one point missing here, forgiveness in this situation involve forgiveness not only to the subordinate, but to forgive ourself too. If we think more carefully, and if we discover some unforeseen factors, we might help the staff to avoid mistakes. Or may be the mistakes are unexpected, and these mistakes would further help the management and business if we take them positively. Again the big picture is to analyze things from different angles and perspectives (i.e. with understanding, the light and the shadow together) before we may apply appropriate forgiveness to bring good results for us and the subordinate.

      • You are right. We need to forgive ourselves which I almost forget though forgiving others seem more important go me.

      • 我非常欣赏、认同你的格局。
        你的格局是非常优秀的领导者的格局。

      • 我现在只是纸上谈兵。只是在锻炼我的思维思考力,和建立自己的更全面的人生观。在下真的不敢当。但是如果有机会,必定会要挑战自己,绝不退缩。

  4. 凡夫无过,贤人有过,圣人大过。
    凡夫不认错,故自说无过,贤人认错,故自知有过,圣人为天下事不能了,故自云大过。

    摘于xxxxxxx

    • 妳这叫我怎么回答好呢,连经典都搬出来了:)?从大格局来说,这是是有点道理的。但是我认为儒家学说不能概括许多的情况。为什么呢?因为凡人有他自身的局限,如我所说,凡人之所以是凡人是有他们一连串生活的不幸,而这些不幸不象其他圣人的不幸造就了他们,凡人的不幸使他们变成了凡人。所以这经典所说的没有概括基督教和佛教的关爱,只是解释了人的不同。我觉得有时老子的道德经对某些事说得比较透彻。对不起不知道有没有离题或解释的不对。

      • 呵呵 是我离题了吧
        事无绝对的对错 都得看情况

        我其实想表示的是:在这篇里,你有贤人的特征

      • 我会朝这方面努力的(>_<),目标还很远。

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